My Poems

A Killer's Mind

2009-04-04T08:39:00.001-04:00

(Wednesday, March 11, 2009; Tuesday, March 17, 2009; Monday, March 23, 2009; Sunday, March 29, 2009; Friday, April 3, 2009. After the recent series of rampage killings, I began to wonder what the killers might be thinking and this is my version of those thoughts. This poem is not written to glorify these killers for I have nothing but contempt for them. These are arrogant people with no regard for life, who for reasons known only to them, decide killing innocent people is the way to settle their perceived grievances. My prayers are with the victims and survivors.)

Rage simmering,
ready to boil over.
How dare you
treat me like this?
See me, I am hurting.
I have feelings!

I'll show you!
Get a gun,
kill those who done me wrong.
Bullets, I need bullets,
lots of them.
Load the gun,
find them.
Pull the trigger,
scream, die, bleed.
Hurt like me.

Damn you all!
You'll never take me.
Put the gun to my temple.
Show them,
shoot
now
dead.

Friends and Neighbors:
He was such a nice person.
I could never imagine him doing a thing like this.
He must have snapped.
I never saw him get angry, always had a kind word for everyone.
He use to yell at his wife and kids.
He was strange, never said hello to anyone.
Kept to himself, a loner.

Copyright © 2009 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

The Old Lady

2009-03-19T17:44:00.001-04:00

I've watched the old lady over the years,
where she was once young, stood proud and tall,
she now walks stooped over,
as if the weight of the world is on her shoulders.

The hair is gray, the skin is wrinkled,
the twinkle in her eyes has diminished.
Life has taken its toll on her
and dreams she once had are gone,
replaced by the realities of life.

There are aches and pains that come with age,
yet she never gives up.
Each day is a struggle now,
but she gives thanks to God
for another day on His earth.

Her mind and memory haven't suffered,
still as sharp and clear as ever.
It is difficult for her to accept physical limitations,
because she finally has to acknowledge,
she can no longer do the things she once did.

She is a survivor and I know her well.
You see, I only have to look in the
mirror to know, the old lady is me.

Copyright © 2009 Sylvia All Rights Reserved

Royal Rose (Rhyming Alliterisen)

2008-12-29T06:41:00.001-05:00

Written by Sylvia

Sweet scents tickle your nose.
Odorous perfume, regal rose.
Soft silky satin petals,
sharp thorns like nasty nettles.
Countless colors paint their blooms,
their brilliant beauty consumes.
God's great gift to please our eyes.

Dancing Snowflakes (Rondeau)

2008-12-26T06:54:00.000-05:00

Written by Sylvia

Snowflakes are dancing as they come spiraling down,
like tiny ballerinas all dressed in white gowns.
Fluffy delicate flakes, cascading from the skies,
creating visions so beautiful to the eyes.
--------Glistening flakes, rhinestone tiaras worn as crowns.

Snow, creating coverlet of white for the ground,
the wind is blowing, swirling downy flakes around.
Clinging to branches of trees, a wondrous disguise.
--------Snowflakes are dancing!

Blanketing the landscape, snow angels do abound,
angelic figures, all sizes and shapes surround.
Awakening to snowfall at morning sunrise,
blissful sights and sounds, quite a wonderful surprise.
Lasting memories to fill a lifetime are found,
--------Snowflakes are dancing!

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

A Blood Stained World

2008-12-14T06:40:00.001-05:00

Written by Sylvia

Evil lives in this world today in the guise of religious belief,
that if you do not agree with our way we will cause you grief.

Blood stains on the streets of the cities of the world,
an enourmous hatred has been unfurled.

Hear our words, the killing must cease,
for in our strength there will be peace.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Enduring Love (Triolet)

2008-12-05T08:03:00.001-05:00

In response to Shelley's, "Music, When Soft Voices Die".

Voices quieted, music no longer heard;
in memories and thoughts, love will endure,
forever, until the end of my words.
Voices quieted, music no longer heard;
Roses die, the scent of sweet flowers blurred.
When you have departed, of this I'm sure,
Voices quieted, music no longer heard;
In memories and thoughts, love will endure.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Faceless Love

2008-11-26T06:50:00.001-05:00

Written by Sylvia

I have never seen your face nor heard your voice
I can only imagine them in my dreams
And that is not my choice
But it must be that way it seems

Hope will forever live in my heart
That someday we will be together
Never again to be apart
For I will never love another

Life dictates that you remain
My silent and faceless love for now
And this brings me such pain
But I will make the best of it somehow

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia Feeley All Rights Reserved

Madness of Addiction

2008-11-24T05:40:00.000-05:00

written by Sylvia (Double Acrostic Form)

Must you be so cunning and full of gloom?
Always lurking, with your own agenda.
Down into a hell, I will descend.
Nothing can stop the pain,
Every nerve hurting and on fire.
Slayer of souls, leaving nothing but debris.
Surrender just a second away, my extreme loss.

Outward signs of you, as you practice voodoo.
Fearful that you will take away my God, my belief.

Addict is my name, if only I had amnesia!
Doubt fills me as I try to comprehend.
Demons unleashed!
Ignorance, my soul filled with graffiti,
Captured by your aphrodisiac.
Take your goods and relent.
Impulse uncontrolled as you apply your stimuli.
Only another addict can understand, you psycho!
Never will I be free from you I portend

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

My Child

2008-11-23T05:15:00.001-05:00

written by Sylvia

You are old before your time, my child.
Kind, full of compassion and concern.
You don't know how many times I smiled
as you continued to grow and learn.

There is passion in your eyes and heart
as you have tackled everyday life.
That passion is what sets you apart;
if only I could remove the strife.

Our time together in this world
will end and I will leave you alone.
Let your enormous grief be unfurled,
then celebrate the life we had known.

Remember all the good times we had,
the wonderful memories we shared.
My child, when I am gone, don't be sad,
you must know just how much that I cared.

Angel's I have sent will be with you,
to watch over you and be your guide.
Don't be so sad, they will see you through
and fill my heart with enormous pride.

When you feel down and the need to talk,
remember, I am just words away.
Lift your voice to heaven as you walk,
and I will hear your words as you pray.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia All Rights Reserved

My Heart is Breaking (Kyrielle)

2008-11-17T13:45:00.000-05:00

Written by Sylvia

Distance that we cannot traverse.
So near yet so far, makes it worse.
For this, there is no mistaking.
A new love, my heart is breaking.

Words unspoken that declare love.
Rejection, which I speak thereof,
a friendship will be left aching.
A new love, my heart is breaking.

Love unrequited, a disgrace.
Another time, another place,
my words to him, no retaking.
A new love, my heart is breaking.

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Alone and Empty

2008-11-17T10:45:00.001-05:00

Written by Sylvia

So alone and filled with emptiness,
no one here to comfort me today,
hold me in their arms, give me a hug,
whisper in my ear, things are going to be okay.

Weary of starting my life over.
Dusting myself off, moving on, no control.
Smiling, pain and doubt still there,
making their home in my heart and soul.

Beaten so far down this time, I'm defeated,
struggling to find my way through debris.
As I take a step forward,
pain and doubt come back to visit me.

Weary of taking care of myself,
hear my plea; take care of me for now.
Tired of making decisions alone,
come be with me as much as time will allow.

Others do not understand, my friend.
They think I should move on and forget.
Pretend that nothing happened to me,
and that I am not filled with regret.

No appreciation for the grief I feel,
not grief over him or our marriage, all in a blur,
grief because part of my soul has died,
and grief because I let it occur.

No one to listen to my feelings,
or hear the words spoken from my heart.
Embarrassment is their reaction,
they turn away from me with a start.

Why can't they realize that at this time in my life,
no response or advice is needed.
My longing, please someone hear my voice,
know my world at the moment, alone and empty, unheeded.

God's Work

2008-11-17T07:25:00.001-05:00

Biblical Quotes:
Cast your cares upon the Lord, for he cares about you. I Peter 5:7

Stand still and consider the wondrous works of God. Job 37:14

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5,6

God works in mysterious ways,
His glorious work never done.
He is with us each step we blaze,
as we walk the pathway of life, my son.

His voice is loud and clear,
as His words speak to each of us.
If we only listen and hear,
His words without a fuss.

He accepts us just as we are,
loves us, as the children of God.
Never judging, always forgiving from afar,
guiding us through our facade.

He hears our voice as we pray
simple words, asking Him to forgive us.
Guide us, take away our fears today,
help us to become a success.

When dreadful things happen in our life,
they test of our faith in Him.
Without faith in God there is strife
and the light that is Him will surely dim.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Memories (Palindrome/Mirrored Poetry)

2008-11-08T10:24:00.001-05:00

written by Sylvia

Treasured memories
recollected affectionately.
Sad, happy, joyous events.
Reflections of spirit,
endlessly imprinting soul.
Reproduced foregone impressions,
spontaneous reminiscence,
commemorative remembrance.
- Memories -
Remembrance commemorative,
spontaneous reminiscence,
impressions forgone reproduced.
Soul imprinting endlessly,
Spirit of reflections.
Events joyous, happy, sad,
affectionately recollected,
Treasured memories.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Tears

2008-10-22T07:25:00.000-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Tears you will never see, spilling from my eyes.
Crying in silence, sobs that you will never hear.
A tear for each of the lies spoken to me in disguise.
One by one, the tears roll down my cheeks.

Lies that have caused unbearable pain, that you will never feel,
pain that has shattered the depths of my soul.
Broken into a million pieces, a heart that will never heal.
There is no sound, only silence as I shed these tears.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia Feeley All Rights Reserved

Perfect World

2008-10-20T07:46:00.002-04:00

Written by Sylvia

In a perfect world, there would be no war,
only peace and understanding.
But the world is not perfect, there is war.
In a perfect world, there would be no enemies
only friends and family.
But the world is not perfect, there are enemies.

In a perfect world, there would be no sadness
only hope and joy.
But the world is not perfect, there is sadness.
In a perfect world, there would be no discrimination,
only tolerance and acceptance of your fellowman.
But the world is not perfect, there is discrimination.

In a perfect world, there would be no cruelty,
only kindness and concern for others.
But the world is not perfect, there is cruelty.
In a perfect world, there would be no needless death and dying,
only life lived to the fullest until our time to die.
But the world is not perfect, there is needless death and dying.

In a perfect world, we would strive to change these things.
But the world is not perfect, we are complacent with the status quo.
In a perfect world, we would embrace our fellowman.
But the world is not perfect, we prefer to turn away.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia Feeley All Rights Reserved

Sweet Sanity

2008-09-24T09:32:00.002-04:00

Written By Sylvia

Sweet sanity, why did you desert me tonight
leaving behind dark days, void of light.
Madness is waiting just a few steps away,
I'm trying so very hard to keep it at bay.

Sweet sanity, where have you gone?
You left me searching from dusk to dawn
for a path illuminated so bright,
to banish those dark days, void of light

Sweet sanity, my every moment filled with doubt,
this can't be what life is all about.
Desperately trying to fill dark days, void of light with hope
just so that I can cope.

Sweet sanity, I beg you, please come back,
guide my life to get it back on track,
to stop thoughts I have come to dread.
God, please don't let me be dead!

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia Feeley All Rights Reserved

Memories

2008-09-13T09:01:00.004-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Laying side by side, holding onto the goodbyes,
is this our last day together, won't you stay?
The longing for another fills your eyes,
memories of her will not go away.

We pretend the memories are not there,
but we know they are, they will never leave.
My heart is filled with such despair,
please make them go and stay with me.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Your Words

2008-08-16T13:15:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Ten years, memories of the past
Words hurled and spewed, they will not last
You’ll never know the pain I feel
To hell with others, so surreal

Memories painful, my soul is aching
Words hurled and spewed, my heart breaking
Daggers piercing my heart and soul
Will the wounds heal and close the hole

Why did I stay for all those years
Was in love, put away my fears
Cruel and vicious, I am confused
Awful words, left me bruised

Defeated me, soul eroded, left me stunned
No more, now free from what was done
Putting pieces together, once again
Battles to fight, victories to obtain

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Silent Voice

2008-07-26T14:30:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia - Input from billy rob

He silenced my voice so my words went unspoken
and all through those years held me down.
I dared not speak, for the cost would be hell
if my words should cause him to frown.

My opinions, thoughts, and views of this life
with me silenced, could never be spoken.
I dared not speak, for the cost would be hell
and I would be left shattered and broken.

Out of fear I gave in, never taking a stand
constantly rebuked, I was silenced again.
I dared not speak, for the cost would be hell
and this I can never explain.

Living in a maze, what direction should I take
Never asking anyone’s help or advice
I dared not speak for the cost would be hell
And my way would have to suffice

I have found my voice, no longer to be silenced
No longer will I be held down
I dare now to speak, for I'm free from that hell
and I'll never again face his frown.

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

The Shore

2008-07-16T12:47:00.002-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Sitting on the porch of my cottage by the shore
Rocking in my chair, never getting anywhere
Listening to waves gently lapping against the beach
Seashells scattered about the sand

Gulls diving toward the water, then soaring upward to the heights
Majestic sailboats framed against the horizon
Clouds fluffy and white, floating slowly across the sky
Changing shapes as they go by

Little children squealing with delight
As they are chased ashore by the tide
Sights and sounds of a wonderful day
Filled with memories made to last a lifetime

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia Feeley All Rights Reserved

The Pathway of Life

2008-07-06T07:30:00.003-04:00

Written by Sylvia

As you travel the pathway of life,
don't trample the flowers beneath your feet and if you dare,
stop a while, gaze upon them in their splendor.
Breathe deeply, smell the bouquet of the tender blossoms they bare .

As you travel the pathway of life,
pause a second and look at the reflection in the mirror.
What do you see; the person you have become,
or the person you strive to be, can it be any clearer.

As you travel the pathway of life,
take time to thank God for the things He has provided,
and the many blessings He has bestowed upon you;
no longer to worry about matters left undecided.

As you travel the pathway of life,
for just one brief moment, forget the misery in the world.
Contemplate the goodness in your fellowman,
and not the evil you see them begin to unfurl.

As you travel the pathway of life,
Stop and say hello to a stranger today, give it a try.
Watch their eyes light up and sparkle with a glow,
that can only be extinguished if you pass them by.

As you travel the pathway of life,
relish the time you spend with your family and friends.
Life is too short not to take delight in them while they are here.
Set your priorities, for one day their precious life will end.

As you travel the pathway of life,
spread a blanket beneath that majestic old oak tree with care.
See the initials etched with fondness; hear the secrets his leaves whisper.
Savor the memories left behind for you and that old tree to share.

As you travel the pathway of life,
I hope you can hear what my words are saying to you.
Use the time God has given to you on earth,
and focus on the really important things in your life to pursue.

Dreams of Love

2008-06-26T13:48:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia

How I long to feel your hands caress me
And your arms to hold me in an embrace
Your lips pressed softly upon mine
This will never be, is what I must face

I wait each day for night to come
So that I can once again dream
Of a love that is not to be
Dreams that become nightmares, it seems

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia Feeley All Rights Reserved

Today

2008-06-05T08:00:00.000-04:00

Written by Sylvia input from billy rob

Today just seems to be one of those days
I just can’t control, try as I may
I am trying quite hard to get myself going
And keep at bay this wind I feel blowing.

Today just seems to be one of those days
When everything is all dark and gray
Makes me feel so very sad and blue
But don’t you worry, I’ll make it through

Today just seems to be one of those days
I don’t want to go out and play
Time will pass, tomorrow will come
God willing, I won’t feel so glum

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Fear

2008-05-30T07:35:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Fear
Consumes my soul
If that was your goal

Fear
Is always near
Everyday, all year

Fear
Never goes away
It forever stays

Fear
Erodes my feelings
Leaves me reeling

Fear
Black and dark
Awakes with a start

Fear
I cannot overcome
Leaves me numb

Fear
My chest is tight
I will fight

Fear
I cannot breathe
Will it ever leave

Fear
Holds me in its grip
An unwanted trip

Fear
Give in to defeat
Oh so sweet

Fear
Let go of me
My soul is mine to keep you see

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Sadness

2008-05-20T10:15:00.002-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Where there should be gladness
in your words, written or spoken,
there is only a deep sadness.
Your inner spirit is broken.

Memories of a long lost love it seems,
have wounded your kind soul.
They haunt your dreams,
you will never be whole.

The time has come to let them go,
to fill your soul with happiness.
Once again let your words show
there is no more sadness.

Copyright © 2008 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

A Day is Born

2008-04-02T08:45:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Early morning just before dawn,
Droplets of dew glistening on tender blades of grass
Ole Sol is beginning to peak from beneath the clouds
It won’t be long until another today is born

Coolness is in the air just before dawn
Flowers are shaking their sleepy little heads,
Spreading their petals for all to see
It won’t be long until another today is born

Gods’ creatures beginning to stir just before dawn
Tiny insects jumping from leaf to leaf
Crickets chirping, wake up, wake up
It won’t be long until another today is born

Bumble bees making their rounds just before dawn
Suckling the golden nectar from flowers that abound
Butterflies coming awake, spreading their wings
It won’t be long until another today is born

The birth of a day just before dawn
Amazing to see and hear this glorious event unfold
To realize that today is another tomorrow in disguise
And yesterday is but a passing memory

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Solitude

2007-12-29T09:50:00.001-05:00

Written by Sylvia

Early morning just before dawn, my solitude time
To reflect on the past, plan for the future of mine
To think thoughts I dare not speak aloud
For they would produce dark clouds

Silence unbroken by useless words or noise
Daylight beginning to break the dawn, a time to pause
Those hours and minutes I cherish
Without them I would most certainly perish

My solitude time is ended when you awaken
And my golden silence is taken
No one to watch what I do
Question my every move

Not a soul to interrupt my silent thoughts
Alone, a solitary place, I am not distraught
I am thankful, full of gratitude
For my time of solitude

Courtesy of FreeFoto.com Photographer Ian Britton

My Life is Turning Around

2007-11-30T14:30:00.003-05:00

Written by Sylvia

It was the fall of the year, September to be exact.
That is when my whole world turned upside down.
My partner made it hard for me to stay intact.
At that moment, my journey begins to escape the misery.

Sadness and grief have filled the months since then, I’m not whole.
I must find a way to climb the steps back to sanity.
A friend inspired me to look in the depths of my wounded soul,
and find the courage to write my own story verse by verse.

I am taking a chance to write about the things that shaped my life,
to form them into my words and share with the world.
Each word held up to the light to see the darkness and strife,
then am I prepared to place them in the recesses of my mind.

The light at the end of the tunnel is drawing nearer,
my dignity and self-respect once lost, I have now found.
I can see myself again once without looking in the mirror.
My broken spirit is healing, now I can laugh and smile.

There are other sad words that I must write,
to hold up to the light before I put them in their place.
The sun is shining on me and my heart is filled with light.
As my journey nears the end, my life is turning around.

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Junior and Me

2007-10-31T21:07:00.002-04:00

Written by Sylvia (This is based on a personal experience and is true.)

Junior and me, he was twenty-five, I was twenty-seven.
We met through his mother who was a friend of mine.
He stayed with me for a while and it was heaven.
After a few months had passed, he went home to stay.

I finally realized he was much too young for me.
He had a lot of growing up he needed to achieve.
We parted as friends because he agreed,
there were more wild oats he needed to sew.

One Friday night at 2:30 AM, I was asleep and content,
I heard him calling my name over and over again.
His voice was filled with agony and pain, I didn’t know what it meant,
and I was shaken to the depths of my soul by that awful sound .

Friends stayed up the rest of the night with me, I was berserk.
I dared not close my eyes for fear that I would hear his voice once more.
That next morning I called my friend at work,
she wasn't there and I really needed to talk to her.

The person who answered the phone said to me without a warning,
didn't anyone told you what happened to Junior.
He was killed in a car wreck at 2:30 this morning.
And then I knew what he was trying to tell me, he was dying.

Our Oak Tree

2007-10-23T22:07:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia (First Verse by Billy Rob)

Two centuries it has been there, standing proud and tall,

weathering every storm and refusing to break or fall.
When I gaze upon its beauty, it seems to talk with me,

telling me old secrets the oak has chanced to see

Through all those years, people have come and gone,
Some of them sitting beneath his branches until dawn
As couples picnic, he hears secrets they share,
Memories left behind, their initials etched with care.

Fondly he remembers a young couple, lovers from years ago
Sitting on a blanket, holding hands, all aglow
When they left, a heart was carved in his trunk
Each time he sees that heart, he remembers their spunk

That old oak tree wears his scars proudly for the world to see
Each one reminds him of how those people loved his tree
And as the years continue to pass, that old oak tree will last
Still standing proud and tall, remembering secrets of the past

Despair

2007-06-26T10:04:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia

The depths of despair have taken my soul in their clutches
Ripped apart, turned inside out, cast aside with hard touches
My soul has been lost forever to the depths of despair
Frightening thoughts fill my soul, it is beyond all repair

A revelation so painful, to confront the dark side of my being
It has me questioning my sanity and I feel like fleeing
To escape the madness that overcomes my mind
Fighting my way through the debris left behind

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Peace in My Soul

2007-04-18T04:49:00.002-04:00

Written by Sylvia input from billy rob

My soul feels quite shattered, like it's in a million pieces
and the puzzle must be solved before this hard pain ceases.
I will ask my God each night to place peace in my soul
maybe it can fill this void and help me to feel whole.

Battles rage within my soul, will all these pieces fit?
Until I see the puzzle solved, I will not submit.
Battles rage within my soul, I must end this march to madness,
with God's help, I'll prevail and purge myself of sadness.

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Ruth’s Journey

2007-04-12T12:22:00.002-04:00

Written by Sylvia Feeley on behalf of your friends worldwide

If you would like to read Ruth's story visit this blog.
There Are A Million Stories In The Naked City

The past two years have been a long journey
Through an illness that wrought its damage
On a vibrant man, the love of your life, Mick
Now that journey has come to an end

Along the way there were days full of sunshine and laughter
And days of rain and gloom, days in the garden
Through it all the smiles were still there
Memories made to last you a lifetime

Through this journey, friends from around the world were made
Your words conveyed to us the love that you have for Mick
The same words that made us your friends, a small part of your life
You shared laughter, joy, tears and fears with us

With photos displayed, life with Mick was shared
The Joker, Holiday Maker, Hiker, the Gardener
Granddad, Dad, Son, Brother and Uncle
And most important of all, Lover and Husband to Ruth

Friends you have made were honored
To take this journey by your side
We share in the grief you feel now
And Mick will be missed by us all

Even though one journey has ended
A new one has begun for you
Each time you look to the heavens
And see a twinkling star, know that it is Mick watching over you

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Three Little Words

2007-04-08T07:42:00.001-04:00

Written by Sylvia

Three little words, “I am sorry”,
So miniscule, yet so significant

I must say these three little words
For I have spoken hurtful things to you

When unkind words are uttered
They can never be unspoken

Therefore, I must say to you, my friend,
“I am sorry”

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

The Gift

2007-04-03T14:24:00.000-04:00

Written by Sylvia

I was sweet sixteen when my first love came to me
He was dashing and handsome, my heart was taken
Our love blossomed and then he took my virginity, you see
And life as I knew it would never be the same again

Plans were made to be married on a cool fall day,
in his hometown and I would finish my education
School ended and I worked that summer much to my dismay
And I was filled with anticipation for that day to arrive

On a lazy summer afternoon, a day I remember well
The telephone rang and mother said the call was for me
As I put the receiver to my ear, I heard him say, oh hell
I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve been lying to you

I’m engaged to another, we’re getting married today
Just thought I should call to let you know and have a good life
I dropped the phone, I could not speak and my soul was betrayed
My heart was barely beating, felt as if it had been ripped apart

My mother held me in her arms to comfort me and dry my tears
Hours passed before I could find the words to tell her what he said
I threw away the mementos of him trying to calm my fears
Desperate to erase the memory without much success

He’ll always be hidden in my mind, never to let me forget
And if someone else appears, a wall goes up to protect myself
All because I can never trust anyone again, I regret
Since that day when I was just sweet sixteen

Memories of the pain when that call came left me forever numb
And this one event became the foundation of my life
Fear of hurt if I gave to another could not be overcome
This is the gift my first love gave to me when I was sweet sixteen

Perchance to Dream

2007-02-28T09:52:00.000-05:00

Written by Sylvia

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine fields abloom with daises, moving gently
To the rhythm of the wind, swaying to and fro
With petals of yellow and white glistening with the morning dew

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine mountains standing tall and majestic
The pale blue sky as their canvas to paint a picture for us
As they stretch across the horizon in all their grandeur

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine rivers winding their way through the countryside
Their serene waters rippling around the bends and crooks
Carved into the dark rich soil by their eroding tides

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine lakes with their mirrored surface unbroken
Except by the old man sitting on the peaceful shore
Skipping stones across the lake as he did when he was a child

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine the beautiful trees with their leaves whispering
Come and sit beneath my canopy for a while
And listen to the memories left behind for me to share

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine children young and innocent and open to the world
As they take delight in the games that they play
The enjoyment etched into their smiling faces

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine an old man and woman as they sit on their porch
Gently rocking in the swing, feet pushing against the floor
Talking quietly to each other about times of long ago

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine puppies and kittens as their eyes begin to open
And they explore the wondrous world around them
Filled with balls of yarn to unravel and old shoes to chew

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine the sun, the moon and the stars
Each with their own time to bring light to our world
From the dusky dawn to the dark of night

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine God’s world as He created it for us to discover
Astounded by the beauty and splendor of all His creatures
And know any mortal man can never duplicate them

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Seeking Approval

2007-02-23T09:20:00.001-05:00

Written by Sylvia

We spend to much of our life seeking approval from others.
Whether it is parents and siblings, even friends or lovers.
It is never a conscious decision that we make.
We don’t give it much thought and that can be a mistake.

It is far easier for us to submit, than ask them for respect.
We are paralyzed with fear that you won’t love us, I suspect.
You don’t need to be afraid and if you are refused,
run as fast as you can, move on, do not be confused.

You should choose wisely; for there are those when asked,
will deny the approval you seek, they’ll be unmasked.
If nothing else, please remember this,
be yourself, you don't need approval from others to exist.

A Story Never Shared

2007-02-13T08:04:00.002-05:00

Written by Sylvia

Let me tell you a story I have never shared before
Except with my friend because he can understand
I married a man and James William was his name
Said he loved me, treated me alright and made no demands

He and his buddies would get together for a night out
Drinking and partying all night, they thought it was all right
When the bars closed, there were other places to go
Places in people’s houses, liquor sold late at night

On a Friday night as he was getting ready to leave
We had an argument over the very thing I dread
One thing led to another and before he closed the door
The last words I spoke to him were, “I wish you were dead!”

At three in the morning, there was a knock at our door
His friends were standing there and said to me
He’s hurt bad, you need to get to the hospital fast
No shock that he had been hurt, he carried a gun, you see

The police were there waiting for me to arrive
They asked me to come to a private room
And I knew something was terribly wrong
Some questions were asked and I answered, my mind filled with doom

I was filled with dread and afraid to ask
Where is my husband, I want to see him and paused
They said, we are sorry but he was shot and he’s dead
I was led to a stark white room and there he was

A sheet was pulled up to his neck, his face was gray
Sacks covering his hands, to protect evidence they said
His bloody clothes and shoes were lying on his chest
And just like they said, he was dead.

They told me he was at an after hours place
There was an argument over a pool game with a man
Guns were pulled and shots were fired
That is when my nightmare began

The other man was hit in the arm, barely grazed
My husband was shot in the chest
The bullet hit his heart, the doctor said
and James William was dead before he hit the floor, he stressed

And throughout all of this, I kept thinking
That just before my husband shut the door to leave
The last words I ever spoke to him were
"I wish you were dead", now I have begun to grieve

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Abused

2007-02-08T09:27:00.001-05:00

Written by Sylvia

You abused me as if my permission was granted
and I wanted you dead, then finally recanted.
For too long you treated me with hatred and contempt
I tried to tell you, that’s wrong but failed in the attempt

Tell me why did you abuse, will you ever reply
I became your victim and that I cannot deny
So many scars concealed from your prying eyes
Now they’re exposed and there will be no more lies

A few months have gone by and my healing has begun
And I will be damned if I’ll let you think that you won
So full of arrogance and consumed by hate
There was no one else to pay the price except your mate

The price was too high and I took the only way out
My decision made, I had to get away, I have no doubt
Now that I am gone, I ask myself who the next fool will be
One thing I know; it won’t be me because I am free

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved