Solitude

Written by Sylvia

Early morning just before dawn, my solitude time
To reflect on the past, plan for the future of mine
To think thoughts I dare not speak aloud
For they would produce dark clouds

Silence unbroken by useless words or noise
Daylight beginning to break the dawn, a time to pause
Those hours and minutes I cherish
Without them I would most certainly perish

My solitude time is ended when you awaken
And my golden silence is taken
No one to watch what I do
Question my every move

Not a soul to interrupt my silent thoughts
Alone, a solitary place, I am not distraught
I am thankful, full of gratitude
For my time of solitude

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Courtesy of FreeFoto.com Photographer Ian Britton

My Life is Turning Around

Written by Sylvia

It was the fall of the year, September to be exact.
That is when my whole world turned upside down.
My partner made it hard for me to stay intact.
At that moment, my journey begins to escape the misery.

Sadness and grief have filled the months since then, I’m not whole.
I must find a way to climb the steps back to sanity.
A friend inspired me to look in the depths of my wounded soul,
and find the courage to write my own story verse by verse.

I am taking a chance to write about the things that shaped my life,
to form them into my words and share with the world.
Each word held up to the light to see the darkness and strife,
then am I prepared to place them in the recesses of my mind.

The light at the end of the tunnel is drawing nearer,
my dignity and self-respect once lost, I have now found.
I can see myself again once without looking in the mirror.
My broken spirit is healing, now I can laugh and smile.

There are other sad words that I must write,
to hold up to the light before I put them in their place.
The sun is shining on me and my heart is filled with light.
As my journey nears the end, my life is turning around.



Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Junior and Me

Written by Sylvia (This is based on a personal experience and is true.)

Junior and me, he was twenty-five, I was twenty-seven.
We met through his mother who was a friend of mine.
He stayed with me for a while and it was heaven.
After a few months had passed, he went home to stay.

I finally realized he was much too young for me.
He had a lot of growing up he needed to achieve.
We parted as friends because he agreed,
there were more wild oats he needed to sew.

One Friday night at 2:30 AM, I was asleep and content,
I heard him calling my name over and over again.
His voice was filled with agony and pain, I didn’t know what it meant,
and I was shaken to the depths of my soul by that awful sound .

Friends stayed up the rest of the night with me, I was berserk.
I dared not close my eyes for fear that I would hear his voice once more.
That next morning I called my friend at work,
she wasn't there and I really needed to talk to her.

The person who answered the phone said to me without a warning,
didn't anyone told you what happened to Junior.
He was killed in a car wreck at 2:30 this morning.
And then I knew what he was trying to tell me, he was dying.

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Our Oak Tree

Written by Sylvia (First Verse by Billy Rob)

Two centuries it has been there, standing proud and tall,

weathering every storm and refusing to break or fall.
When I gaze upon its beauty, it seems to talk with me,

telling me old secrets the oak has chanced to see

Through all those years, people have come and gone,
Some of them sitting beneath his branches until dawn
As couples picnic, he hears secrets they share,
Memories left behind, their initials etched with care.

Fondly he remembers a young couple, lovers from years ago
Sitting on a blanket, holding hands, all aglow
When they left, a heart was carved in his trunk
Each time he sees that heart, he remembers their spunk

That old oak tree wears his scars proudly for the world to see
Each one reminds him of how those people loved his tree
And as the years continue to pass, that old oak tree will last
Still standing proud and tall, remembering secrets of the past

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Despair

Written by Sylvia


The depths of despair have taken my soul in their clutches
Ripped apart, turned inside out, cast aside with hard touches
My soul has been lost forever to the depths of despair
Frightening thoughts fill my soul, it is beyond all repair

A revelation so painful, to confront the dark side of my being
It has me questioning my sanity and I feel like fleeing
To escape the madness that overcomes my mind
Fighting my way through the debris left behind

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Peace in My Soul

Written by Sylvia input from billy rob

My soul feels quite shattered, like it's in a million pieces
and the puzzle must be solved before this hard pain ceases.
I will ask my God each night to place peace in my soul
maybe it can fill this void and help me to feel whole.

Battles rage within my soul, will all these pieces fit?
Until I see the puzzle solved, I will not submit.
Battles rage within my soul, I must end this march to madness,
with God's help, I'll prevail and purge myself of sadness.


Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Ruth’s Journey

Written by Sylvia Feeley on behalf of your friends worldwide

If you would like to read Ruth's story visit this blog.
There Are A Million Stories In The Naked City


The past two years have been a long journey
Through an illness that wrought its damage
On a vibrant man, the love of your life, Mick
Now that journey has come to an end

Along the way there were days full of sunshine and laughter
And days of rain and gloom, days in the garden
Through it all the smiles were still there
Memories made to last you a lifetime

Through this journey, friends from around the world were made
Your words conveyed to us the love that you have for Mick
The same words that made us your friends, a small part of your life
You shared laughter, joy, tears and fears with us

With photos displayed, life with Mick was shared
The Joker, Holiday Maker, Hiker, the Gardener
Granddad, Dad, Son, Brother and Uncle
And most important of all, Lover and Husband to Ruth

Friends you have made were honored
To take this journey by your side
We share in the grief you feel now
And Mick will be missed by us all

Even though one journey has ended
A new one has begun for you
Each time you look to the heavens
And see a twinkling star, know that it is Mick watching over you


Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Three Little Words

Written by Sylvia

Three little words, “I am sorry”,
So miniscule, yet so significant

I must say these three little words
For I have spoken hurtful things to you

When unkind words are uttered
They can never be unspoken

Therefore, I must say to you, my friend,
“I am sorry”

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

The Gift

Written by Sylvia

I was sweet sixteen when my first love came to me
He was dashing and handsome, my heart was taken
Our love blossomed and then he took my virginity, you see
And life as I knew it would never be the same again

Plans were made to be married on a cool fall day,
in his hometown and I would finish my education
School ended and I worked that summer much to my dismay
And I was filled with anticipation for that day to arrive

On a lazy summer afternoon, a day I remember well
The telephone rang and mother said the call was for me
As I put the receiver to my ear, I heard him say, oh hell
I don’t know how to say this, but I’ve been lying to you

I’m engaged to another, we’re getting married today
Just thought I should call to let you know and have a good life
I dropped the phone, I could not speak and my soul was betrayed
My heart was barely beating, felt as if it had been ripped apart

My mother held me in her arms to comfort me and dry my tears
Hours passed before I could find the words to tell her what he said
I threw away the mementos of him trying to calm my fears
Desperate to erase the memory without much success

He’ll always be hidden in my mind, never to let me forget
And if someone else appears, a wall goes up to protect myself
All because I can never trust anyone again, I regret
Since that day when I was just sweet sixteen

Memories of the pain when that call came left me forever numb
And this one event became the foundation of my life
Fear of hurt if I gave to another could not be overcome
This is the gift my first love gave to me when I was sweet sixteen

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Perchance to Dream

Written by Sylvia

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine fields abloom with daises, moving gently
To the rhythm of the wind, swaying to and fro
With petals of yellow and white glistening with the morning dew

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine mountains standing tall and majestic
The pale blue sky as their canvas to paint a picture for us
As they stretch across the horizon in all their grandeur

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine rivers winding their way through the countryside
Their serene waters rippling around the bends and crooks
Carved into the dark rich soil by their eroding tides

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine lakes with their mirrored surface unbroken
Except by the old man sitting on the peaceful shore
Skipping stones across the lake as he did when he was a child

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine the beautiful trees with their leaves whispering
Come and sit beneath my canopy for a while
And listen to the memories left behind for me to share

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine children young and innocent and open to the world
As they take delight in the games that they play
The enjoyment etched into their smiling faces

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine an old man and woman as they sit on their porch
Gently rocking in the swing, feet pushing against the floor
Talking quietly to each other about times of long ago

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine puppies and kittens as their eyes begin to open
And they explore the wondrous world around them
Filled with balls of yarn to unravel and old shoes to chew

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine the sun, the moon and the stars
Each with their own time to bring light to our world
From the dusky dawn to the dark of night

When I close my eyes and perchance to dream
I imagine God’s world as He created it for us to discover
Astounded by the beauty and splendor of all His creatures
And know any mortal man can never duplicate them


Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Seeking Approval

Written by Sylvia


We spend to much of our life seeking approval from others.
Whether it is parents and siblings, even friends or lovers.
It is never a conscious decision that we make.
We don’t give it much thought and that can be a mistake.

It is far easier for us to submit, than ask them for respect.
We are paralyzed with fear that you won’t love us, I suspect.
You don’t need to be afraid and if you are refused,
run as fast as you can, move on, do not be confused.

You should choose wisely; for there are those when asked,
will deny the approval you seek, they’ll be unmasked.
If nothing else, please remember this,
be yourself, you don't need approval from others to exist.

Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

A Story Never Shared

Written by Sylvia

Let me tell you a story I have never shared before
Except with my friend because he can understand
I married a man and James William was his name
Said he loved me, treated me alright and made no demands

He and his buddies would get together for a night out
Drinking and partying all night, they thought it was all right
When the bars closed, there were other places to go
Places in people’s houses, liquor sold late at night

On a Friday night as he was getting ready to leave
We had an argument over the very thing I dread
One thing led to another and before he closed the door
The last words I spoke to him were, “I wish you were dead!”

At three in the morning, there was a knock at our door
His friends were standing there and said to me
He’s hurt bad, you need to get to the hospital fast
No shock that he had been hurt, he carried a gun, you see

The police were there waiting for me to arrive
They asked me to come to a private room
And I knew something was terribly wrong
Some questions were asked and I answered, my mind filled with doom

I was filled with dread and afraid to ask
Where is my husband, I want to see him and paused
They said, we are sorry but he was shot and he’s dead
I was led to a stark white room and there he was

A sheet was pulled up to his neck, his face was gray
Sacks covering his hands, to protect evidence they said
His bloody clothes and shoes were lying on his chest
And just like they said, he was dead.

They told me he was at an after hours place
There was an argument over a pool game with a man
Guns were pulled and shots were fired
That is when my nightmare began

The other man was hit in the arm, barely grazed
My husband was shot in the chest
The bullet hit his heart, the doctor said
and James William was dead before he hit the floor, he stressed

And throughout all of this, I kept thinking
That just before my husband shut the door to leave
The last words I ever spoke to him were
"I wish you were dead", now I have begun to grieve


Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved

Abused

Written by Sylvia

You abused me as if my permission was granted
and I wanted you dead, then finally recanted.
For too long you treated me with hatred and contempt
I tried to tell you, that’s wrong but failed in the attempt

Tell me why did you abuse, will you ever reply
I became your victim and that I cannot deny
So many scars concealed from your prying eyes
Now they’re exposed and there will be no more lies

A few months have gone by and my healing has begun
And I will be damned if I’ll let you think that you won
So full of arrogance and consumed by hate
There was no one else to pay the price except your mate

The price was too high and I took the only way out
My decision made, I had to get away, I have no doubt
Now that I am gone, I ask myself who the next fool will be
One thing I know; it won’t be me because I am free


Copyright © 2007 Sylvia A. Feeley All Rights Reserved